Another ordinary Tuesday

Photo by Zyanya Citlalli on Unsplash

I chose not to take a full-time job so I can be there for my child. My severance helped for a while, but it’s been ten months since I was laid off from my previous job, and I need to start earning again.

I’m still working on children’s picture book manuscripts and waiting to hear back from publishers about my third picture book idea. I’m still editing my romance novel and I hope to get it done by the end of this year.

I’m grateful that former colleagues have sent freelance work my way, and I’m learning to be patient while waiting for article payments.

I’ve started a ghostwriting service for leaders and experts, and I’m waiting to get my first client.

I’ve started a part-time sales job, and I’m still learning the sales script. I’m about halfway through. It’s really more than just a sales job, and I’ll share more once I finish the training.

I’m waiting for things to feel a little more certain.

It feels like I’m doing a lot, but at the same time, it feels like I’m doing nothing because there’s no result yet. I’m still waiting.

I feel stuck. Technically, I’m not; things are just moving very slowly.

It’s a strange place to be: busy every day, but still waiting for life (and money) to catch up.

I keep sending out manuscripts, hoping one will find a home. I keep writing and working on the ghostwriting business, even though putting myself out there is still hard.

And then it’s just another ordinary Tuesday.

Maybe that’s why it feels so lonely. From the outside, it looks like nothing is happening. But I keep showing up, keep learning, keep writing, and keep trusting that something will take root, even if there’s no sign yet.

I don’t know when the replies will come, when the first client will say yes, when I can start my sales job, or what things will look like in a few months.

Maybe one day I’ll look back and realise something important happened during this time. Or maybe I won’t. I tell myself the waiting has to mean something, right?

For now, all I know is that tomorrow I’ll get up and do the work again.